It was so wonderful to visit with almost all of you this past weekend. I loved making lasagna and organizing books and CDs with my mom. I loved taking an 18-mile bike ride with my dad. I loved eating Sheridan's frozen custard with my folks and Andy.

I loved visiting with almost all of my Fiddler Kin at Sharon's lovely home on Sunday. What a good looking, smart, caring, fun family I have!

Beth and Peter, thanks for letting us share in Jacob's third birthday celebration. He is such a sweet, smart little guy ... the kind of child parents-to-be hope for when they decide to expand their families, I bet. Way to go, you two! You're totally rocking out at parenting. :)

Margaret, thanks for the awesome back massage and the tips for Trent on getting the kinks out of my scapula (scapuli??)--ha ha! You're so very generous with your gift of healing and comfort.

Sharon, thanks for sharing your home with all of us on Sunday. It is such an inviting space for family gatherings, and you always make us feel so welcome with your tasty food and generosity.

Carol, thanks for singing Elton John's "I Guess that's Why They Call it the Blues." .... lauging like children, living like lovers, rolling like thunder ... under the covers!!! Ha ha! What a fun memory! Thanks for the laughs!!

Honor, thanks for spending time with all of us on Sunday, even though I'm sure it must have been hard to step away from your second grandson and his new parents. It's always good to spend time with you and enjoy your sense of humor and perspective.

Things are rockin' and rollin' here in GA. I began teaching summer school today, and I think I'm going to really enjoy my students. I've got 25 of them in my 6-credit-hour writing instruction course, which meets four days a week for three hours at a time. Goodbye free time; hello, grading and writing. :) Oh well, I love teaching this class, and I usually only get to teach it in the summers.

On other happy notes, Trent finally got an appointment with his surgeon (June 11), AND (!!!) I just met with our roofer and our insurance adjuster, and --- drumroll, please --- we are getting a new roof!!! I love storm and wind damage. Wahooo!!

I hope all is well in the Midwest. Love to you all!!

Waiting for Isaiah

The waiting is over. My grandson is here. He was born on Friday, May 22cd, at 8:14 am. The daddy greeted me on the phone with, "Congratulations Grandma!" Those words were music and poetry, a healing balm to silence all my fears. All week long I have tried to picture the newest family member to be in my mind. Not knowing if the baby was a boy or girl made that difficult. I jumped every time the phone rang. I worried I would miss the all important call informing me that baby was here. Baby was 12 days late and that made the wait even harder.

But today, May 22cd, I learned the baby's gender and his name. Isaiah Preston was born with a full head of hair and strong, healthy lungs. His daddy, Thomas, informed us that he has big feet. The mark of a champion, I say. The mother, Jesse, began nursing Isaiah soon after his birth. Suddenly, everything was alright in my world. I could relax, shake off my fears and forget the action packed dream I had last night. In my dream, Thomas, Grandma Betty and I were desperately trying to get to the hospital in an older dark colored car. BUT FIRST WE HAD TO SOLVE A CRIME. Yes, apparently, Betty and I were detectives. We had to catch a criminal. We visited several crime scenes in the process. Thomas was helping us. Suddenly the call came in. Jesse was ready to deliver. The three of us raced to the hospital. Thomas jumped out of the car and ran inside. Betty and I were still in the car when my cell phone rang. It was Thomas. He was going to tell us if the baby was a boy or a girl. Before we could find out, I WOKE UP. I got out of bed feeling tense and disappointed. It was 5:45 am. I packed Doug's lunch and headed to the laundry room to start a load of laundry. I returned to our apt., woke Doug up and fixed him breakfast. Back to the laundry room I went to dry my clothes. I folded and put the washing away and made a pot of coffee. Doug had already left for work. I chatted briefly with Fiddler and told her there was no news about the baby. I was just about to have some breakfast when the phone rang. I answered, and heard those sweet words, "Congratulations Grandma."

When we have no control over life's outcomes is when we worry the most. I have spent the last 12 days with my stomach in a knot. I have no sense of calm or patience when I am concerned about my children. Briefly,in the last few days, I would relax, only to think of more things for my weary mind to mull over. First and foremost, I prayed for a healthy child. I prayed that Jesse's labor would not be overwhelming. I also prayed that the new parents would be able to adapt to a new role in life. I wanted everybody to be whole and happy. A parent cannot promise anything like that to their child. They can only hope for the best. Someday soon, my son and daughter-in-law will want to insure their child's happiness. Then they will understand what their parents felt and hoped. Today, though, we are all happy. And we are grateful to family and friends who offered support and encouragement while we waited for Isaiah. At last, the waiting is over.

Endings.....

After enduring endless puddles on our carpet, Peter & I have (finally) decided it was time to let Shy(our beagle) go. This is a choice I arrived at several months ago, however, since she is Peter's dog he had to make the final decision. We originally planned for spring break but he talked himself out of it. They have been together about 9 years & of course this was a very difficult decision for Peter to make. She is about 11 years old & twice as heavy than she should be. We have also suspected she has diabetes but lack the finances to pursue that avenue. Overall, I believe we are making the right decision. Shy is a very sweet dog & will be missed. She is scheduled to be put down this Wednesday at 5pm. Please keep Peter in your thoughts, this is going to be extremely difficult him.

On a happier note, I am very excited to see everyone next weekend. I am very pleased I will get to see you, Katie. Hopefully, we will have a new family member by then!

Good stuff

There is some powerful writing happening on this blog. I particularly enjoyed reading and responding to a couple of recent posts by Honor and Margaret. And the comments on those posts--wow! I just had to pause and soak in each word. Thanks, Fiddler Kin, for your moving, powerful writing.

Trent and I took a couple of fun bike rides this past weekend. We got Trent a seat pad after the 20 mile ride on Saturday (which, even though it was out and back, Trent thought was 80% up hill). On Sunday, we got caught in a rain shower 10 miles out, so we high-tailed it back to the truck, and Trent showed me just how fast he can ride, after an 8 year hiatus from bicycling. Pretty speedy. I needed those bike rides, too. I consumed 2/3 of an applesauce cake with cream cheese icing this weekend (I gave part of it to our neighbors, and I donated another cake to our church bake sale).

After Trent's latest MRI, it looks like he will need shoulder surgery after all. I'll keep you posted on that.

We're moving forward with the refinancing process--woohoo! I've learned a lot, and I'm glad that my research and hard work these past couple of weeks will pay off. Now, we're moving on to roofing estimates. I'm educating myself on construction, shingles, insurance, etc. I'm feeling more empowered with each new task. :)

Have a beautiful week, Fiddler Kin! I'm looking forward to seeing you over Memorial Day weekend when I'm in Kansas!!

snakes alive!

Andy here is a picture
of a snake curled up around
the steering column in your car.
be careful.

home invasion

The ants are back. No matter how much rain we get they will not drown. They will not go away. I have discovered they do not like chalk. I am now surrounded by puprle chalk lines hoping to keep them out. We will see if they evolve.

when is my new cousin going to be born?

move over fonzie

I got these cool sun glasses

Hey ya all

Mother's Day

I just wanted to take this opportunity to wish members of my female family a Happy Mother's Day. This is a day of reflection. Not being a mother, although people always will tell you "Oh your a mother to the earth, your animals, your friends, clients etc." but the reality is that I am not a mother in the sense that we celebrate it, honor it and rejoice in it and I am sure sometimes rail about it. Motherhood is a club that has a worldwide and diverse membership. When I was a young girl I always thought that I would be a mother one day. I played with dolls; rocking them to sleep, feeding them, dressing them and doing all the things we think of as motherly. I grew thinking that one day I would marry and have kids. I was going to be what I considered the "Cool Aid Mom". The house where all the kids wanted to hang out becasue my kids had the mom that always did and said the right thing. The mom who understood them and was hip in a mature way. The reality is I probably would have been an over protective, overly strict, over bearing mother, "Cool Aid Mom", probably would not have been the words my kids would have used to describe me, but somehow the years passed and although at one point I looked into adopting, I never became a mother. I will never know what it feels like to carry a child. I will never know what it feels like those first moment you know you are going to be a mother. I will never know the myriad of emotions that come with that 9 month process of nurturing this new soul. This new life. I will never really know or appreciate the birthing process. These are events and moments that only members of the club can truly comprehend and celebrate. I sometimes look at my fridge and I think of the pictures and artwork that have never graced it. On this the day we reflect on mothers, I am reminded that I will never open a package containing a homemade plate with a handprint or a family portrait drawn with the skill and artistry that can only come forth from the hands and heart of a small child. I will never hear shouts of "Happy Mother's Day". I know that there is much more to being a mother than these things mentioned. There are the million and zillion moments that happen day in and day out, year in and year out. Mother is no longer with us, at least not in her physical form, so today I will see children honoring there mothers and wish that I could take mine to dinner, buy her a small gift that she doesn't need and say "Happy Mother's Day Mom". To my sisters and to Beth and Jesse I honor each of you for participating in this club. I believe you have each given your best and have helped create beautiful and compassionate beings. I wish you each a Hapyy Mother's Day, but in my heart I wish I was a member of the club.

A Story by Fiddler

Spring is here. I have been cleaning out closets and going through papers. I am not overly sentimental, but I have a hard time throwing away letters and greeting cards. I found a story written by Fiddler that must be close to fifty years old. It is written in pencil on notebook paper. The paper has held up well. I don't know why I have it, and I don't know if the story is an assignment or the result of a desire to write. Fiddler starts the story as a letter to our parents. It follows without any editing on my part.

In Heaven when I die

Dear Mom and Dad,
and the rest of you guys.
I am in heaven now and god led the way with the help of grandma and grandpa. Tell sharon I'v seen Stranger and she's happy as can be. If you ever want to write me send it to cloud 9. I will get. You Know Bethann she's got long black hair as I pictured her to have on eart. she goes to Holly God School and she realy likes it too. I seen grandma and grandpa tho, I could not picture grandma on earth she's as pretty as a picture here and So is grandpa. And tell dad I've seen his dad and he's realy nice to. You know that puppy of Stranger's that died I'v seen him to he's got black and white hair. Tell Debra I saw Tiny he's big now and he crows every morning at six thirty. Will until next time remember God lead my way and I will lead yours


Reading this story so close to Mother's Day helps me remember Mom and Dad are in a safe place. Fiddler is still leading the way with her thoughtful observations about life.

Reflection and Refinancing

I have enjoyed reading and responding to everyone's recent postings, and I appreciate the opportunities you've all provided for me (through your thoughtful writing) to reflect on my choices, my perspective, and the way I treat those around me. Thank you.

Trent and I are in the process of refinancing our home. For the past two weeks, when I haven't been at work (completing the mountain of end-of-semester tasks), I have been researching and applying for refinance loans with various lenders and brokers. It's exciting, but it's also a little scary. We're ready to get out from under some not-so-great loans we got three years ago (when homes were appreciating and we were naive, no-down-payment-first-time-home-buyers). We got our home appraised this morning, and we should know the results next Tuesday. Our appraisal will let us know whether or not we can even hope to get financing. Keep your fingers crossed.

I am getting ready to do some baking today for my church's spring festival. We have a bake sale every year. After volunteering at the festival tomorrow, Trent and I will (finally!) be able to go for a bike ride together on the Silver Comet Trail. I look forward to (as Jack Nicholson's character said in Terms of Endearment):

Wind in my hair!
Lead in my pencil!
Feet controlling the universe!

dreams

Since we are on the topics of choices and roots I remember a few words to a song, but I don't remember the name of the song or artist(neither were mainstream). The words as best I can recall went something like this:

Only those who believe dream.
Only those who dream, see them come true.

I think that is nice. So if anyone is out their dreaming.......believe!

Roots

I attended a tea last night. I got all dressed up for it. I wore a dress, the amethyst necklace Sharon made me, and a bracelet Ellen gave me. We ate carrot cake and cheesecake at the tea and listened to poetry and a speaker. The speaker talked about a story that was printed on the center piece on each table. The story is called Roots.

ROOTS

One day a man planted a bamboo seedling. He cared deeply for it. He watered it and made sure it had proper sunlight. After a year's time the plant had not grown at all. The man continued to care for the plant. After the second year the plant had still not grown. Nor had it grown after the third and fourth year. Still the man tended the plant. In the fifth year the plant began growing. In fact, it grew two and a half feet a day until in six weeks it was ninety feet tall.

Though no growth was visible for five years, the plant's foundation was being established and strengthened. The point for us is, each act of kindness builds a foundation of kindness and compassion that affects the whole world. Keep up those random acts of kindness!

I thought this was a good story so I thought I would share. The carrot cake and strawberry cheesecake were good too.

Choices

Sometimes I wonder if I had made different choices where I would be in the scheme of things. I wonder if I had remained in teaching how my life would be different today. Would my problems have been fewer? Would I be richer? What started me down this train of thought was the funny limerick I found online. It is by M.J. McGuire.

If Jonah had gone to Yale,
Instead of the gut of the whale,
He'd have a diploma,
A better aroma,
And a nice little condo in Vail.

Here is my limerick.

A teacher filled with euphoria,
A graduate from Emporia,
Dropped out of the race,
Cause she needed her space,
But now wants to teach some more ia.

I actually feel like I am in a good place right now. My life seems to be going well. To prove I am not a sad sack, here is a cute haiku by Kate Williams to end this post.

Hippos and Haikus

A rhinoceros
fits neatly into a haiku,
but a hippopot...